So I’ve decided to do a post about relationships. This isn’t an argument, this isn’t an essay. This is advice about relationships from one extremely naive teenager to a bunch of people who may or may not know him. I’m not going to use lists, I’m not going to be thorough, and I’m definitely going to leave gaps in my logic. But at least it’ll be real and not some bullshit that I came up with because I had nothing better. So here we go. Consider this the lead in.
There is no prince charming out there for you.
There is no Victoria’s Secret Model out there for you.
There is no person out there for you, who will magically whip you into a relationship that is immediately perfect and constantly ideal. If you believe these things, consider yourself lied to, because Hollywood is addicted to that idea and is holding onto it with a death grip. If a relationship is built quickly, it’ll end quickly. I’m not saying that true love isn’t possible, it’s very possible, and very real and lots of people feel it. It just doesn’t look like most people think it looks. Long lasting relationships are built. They’re not held together by this magical force that keeps everything working properly. They’re built. They take time. They take effort and sometimes they just don’t work. But magically waiting for love to happen isn’t how it works.
Relationships exist on a sloped plane of truthfulness. And in my opinion, they only last if they’re on either end. Some relationships that turn into marriages, are so filled with lie upon lie that it forms this kind of pile. On top of this pile of layered lies, sit the two people in the relationship, but the lies also forms a wall between them. The pile and the wall of lies gets bigger every time something goes unsaid. And eventually the wall gets so thick you don’t know who you’re married to anymore.
And on the other end of this plane, is the end where the two people in the relationship, (or more, if that’s how you roll) are completely open with each other. It’s easy to talk about stuff. Life is simple. A lot of relationships start at this point. But at both ends of the plane, things start to drift towards the middle. And that’s why I say that relationships only last if they stay on either end. Because if they drift towards the middle, which they do a lot of, mind you, things get turbulent. And nobody likes that adjective being used to describe a relationship. Especially when you’re the one in it.
Fuck. I knew I’d ramble.
All the advice I’m trying to give, is that you have to be really conscious and honest about a lot of the stuff you do in a relationship. More importantly, really conscious and honest about the things you think. If there’s a mis-communication between you two, it’s because there’s a difference in thinking.
Which is why functional couples do things like talking and spending time not thinking about sex constantly. I’ll give more functional advice in Part 2.
In the short time between this post and Part two, I want you to remember something very important.
-A
Letters From The Great White North 